Unfortunate Placement for a "Become A Police Officer" Ad

I Want My Jet Pack!

Now if they could just get rid of the tether...

New Simpsons Main Title Sequence

A great and long overdue main title sequence upgrade.

My Job is Easy

Next time you think your job is hard. Make this your desktop background for a few days (click for larger).

Update: You can find the original image and many more at: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/02/bushfires_in_victoria_australi.html

1&1 Hosting Sucks

Back in July of 2007 my site, generatorland.com went down due to a server issue with 1&1 Hosting. The site was down for about 12 hours that time when all was said and done. I lost a bunch of traffic and potential ad clicks/merchandise sales. Well, six months later it's happened again. Since that last outage our traffic has increased 50% meaning now this outage is costing me even more.

Once again a call to their technical support "team" lead me to someone with no information and an accent so thick I had to ask them to repeat everything they said, sometimes three times. In the end they had no information for me other than there's a problem and they're working on it. They will not let me know when it's back up just as they didn't let me know that it was down.

We've already contracted with another host and will be moving the site in a few months. Ultimately all I can do until then is warn anyone looking for a good Web host to stay away from 1&1. Their prices are great and they have some very attractive options, but don't get sucked in, just keep looking.

Taking Notes in the Shower

I've had a decade-long quest to find a good way to take notes in the shower. As I've searched for a solution over the years I've been amazed to find that no one has already come up with a great answer. The good news is I've made progress in my search, thanks to a comment from a Facebook friend.

Other things I've tried, like grease pencils (don't clean up well) and dry erase markers (the "dry" part is obviously a problem) have failed, the main problem being the actual writing tool. Obviously it has to write despite surface moisture and it has to clean up thoroughly. If it gets wet it can't get easily washed away but if it does it can't stain. A tall order I know.

So yesterday I made a Facebook status update regarding my fruitless search and my friend Meg suggested the Crayola® Floating Art Desk, which, while designed for creative toddlers in the tub, also has a "storage" feature that allows it to hang on a wall, giving non-toddlers an adjustable-height writing surface while standing. I found one at Toys R Us for about $10.

The included writing tool happens to be a specially-designed crayon, which while water-resistant, isn't a tremendously accurate writing utensil. However, it gets the job done since I'm not generally jotting down more than a few words at a time.

Oh, one more thing, the Crayola Floating Art Desk is clearly not designed to fit in with an adult bathroom and since we don't have any kids I suspect I'll be explaining things to a few curious guests. I'll be honest, it looks fairly ridiculous. I'm considering making some modifications to it, provided I can do so without completely destroying it. You'll see what I mean in the photos below:

The unit comes with a crayon storage compartment on either side.

I tried it on the tile, but it fell so I moved it to the glass door. So far so good.

The crayons are retractable. I'm not sure why.

I'll give it a little while before I call this a complete success, but in the meantime I'm feeling better about saving those random brainstorms in the shower.

Straighten Your Office 2007 Learning Curve

If you've recently switched to Office 2007 (as I have), I strongly urge you to immediately go download and install Microsoft's "Search Commands" toolbar (or "ribbon" in the new vernacular).

The hardest part about making the switch to Office 2007 is trying to find the commands you're used to using regularly. While I think the new Office ribbon is very cool, it also takes some time to warm up to it. The Search Commands ribbon speeds the process by providing a way to quickly search for a command and then use it (see below).

Read more about the Search Commands Toolbar in Microsystems' Word Tips and Tricks.

The Best Way to Reduce Traffic Congestion and Accidents

By promoting telecommuting and providing incentives to companies with formal telecommuting programs, the government would reduce the number of cars on the road, the "trickle down" being:

• Reduced traffic congestion
• More productive man hours
• Reduced fuel consumption
• Reduced road accidents
• Reduced air pollution
• Reduced wear on roads
  

Some facts from a 2005 article by Longge Gao in the SAM Advanced Management Journal:

"Telecommuting can have positive efforts on society. One is helping alleviate the number of vehicles on the road (Harpaz, 2002) and, consequently, the amount of pollution and oil consumption (Mills, Wong-Ellison, Werner, and Clay (2001). Other societal benefits include less noise pollution, less potential for accidents, less strain on the public transportation system, and an increased ability by organizations to hire employees with special needs (Harpaz, 2002)."

There are, of course positives and negatives to telecommuting both for employees and their employers. These issues are well documented. But by asking businesses to consider it and helping them make it happen if it's a good fit, the government would be making a great step forward.

Fortunately it appears President Obama will be looking to "expand flexible work arrangements" including telecommuting. Here's hoping he follows through.

Make Mine Freedom (1948)

It's Very Cold in Chicago

Chuckles, Marketing, and Aliens

I just polished off a package of Chuckles jelly candies from the vending machine in our office and a few thoughts occurred to me:

• The flavors in Chuckles have never changed.
• I have never, in my life seen any advertising or marketing for Chuckles.
• I don't even know who the hell makes Chuckles. Is there a Web site?

The Flavors
In case you're curious, the official name of the five Chuckles flavors are: Cherry, Lime, Lemon, Licorice, and zesty Orange. As far as I know these have always been the flavors. They were introduced in 1921 and they haven't even CONSIDERED adding or changing the flavor, not even the black one in the middle that most people don't like. That's confidence! That's chutzpah! At some point wouldn't you expect a dude in marketing to come up and say "Hey, coconut's big this year, why don't we try out a Pina Colada Chuckle?" My guess is someone did and he was fired on the spot.

Marketing and Advertising
I assume that the people that make Chuckles have a marketing department. But I may be wrong. For all I know they're made by aliens. In any event, I know for a fact that I have never seen any consumer advertising for Chuckles. Have you? Yet I have eaten Chuckles throughout most of my life. They just seem to show up and periodically I buy them. I assume they are being marketed heavily to candy dealers. If not I can only assume they are indeed made by aliens and they're being beamed down to Earth without us even noticing.

OK, It's Not Aliens

Chuckles are actually made by Farley & Sathers and they do indeed have a Web site. The Web site is as retro as the packaging although while the packaging appears straight out of the sixties, the site merely seems straight out of the 80's. Farley & Sathers also manufacture other similarly semi-famous candy like Now & Later, Rain-Blo, Trolli, and Fruit Stripe (that's right!) I think I've actually seen a Fruit Stripe ad but other than a terrific product placement in Ferris Beuhler's Day Off for Trolli Gummy Bears, I think that's about it. Wait, maybe that was Haribo Gummy Bears. Someone should do a comparison.

Anyway, I think the reason that all this struck me me is that I was thinking how nice it must be to have a product that succeeds for over 80 years despite an utter lack of innovation, marketing, and style. Chuckles just show up. Hey, maybe that could be their tagline!

I seem to have a Chuckle left. Does anyone want the black one?

Dialog Box from Hades

I ran across this dialog box on the Microsoft Partner site. I read it three times, went and had a cup of coffee, came back and read it five more times. It's almost musical in its incoherency.

(Click for Larger Image)

I'm Scared of My Snowblower

There are 3 WARNINGS and 2 CAUTIONS on just this page of my new snowblower's operator manual. I fear starting it may end civilization as we know it.

(Click for Larger Image)

Duck and Cover!

Duck and Cover!

Gas Prices Are Interesting

According to this chart from GasBuddy.com we are in the midst of the steepest drop in gas prices in the last five years. It certainly already felt like it, but until I saw this chart I didn't realize how dramatic it has been historically. Almost two dollars in less than two months. I hope Exxon executives can keep their second butlers!

Safety Sign Generator

I had way too much fun with this safety sign generator.

Get Mouth Happy! Old Time Spud Cigarettes Commercials

Creepy Smiles

I wonder if I'm the only one totally creeped out by the smiles in this commercial.

The Everything Shaker

My favorite type of bagel is the "everything" bagel. However there never seems to be enough of the "everything" to satisfy me. Hence, I created the "Everything Shaker" (click for larger image). Now, in addition to the baked-in "everything" that comes on the bagel I can shake on a little more to the other side. Now everything is everywhere and all is good with the world.

Everything is:

• Poppy seeds
• Sesame seeds
• Flake salt
• Minced garlic
• Minced onion

If the holes are large enough you could also add sunflower kernels.

Dr. Horrible Y'all